- Mad Gypsy' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
- Mad Gypsy does not sleep. He waits.
- Mad Gypsy is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right
fists.
- The chief export of Mad Gypsy is pain.
- If you can see Mad Gypsy, he can see you. If you can't see Mad Gypsy, you may be only seconds away from death.
- Mad Gypsy has counted to infinity. Twice.
- Mad Gypsy does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure.
Mad Gypsy goes killing.
- Mad Gypsy' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
- Mad Gypsy is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
- In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by
Mad Gypsy, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
- There is no chin behind Mad Gypsy' beard. There is only another fist.
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Mad Gypsy once donkey punched someone so hard that his fist broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
- Crop circles are Mad Gypsy' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
- Mad Gypsy is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Mad Gypsy out. It failed miserably.
- Contrary to popular belief, Mad Gypsy, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
- Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Mad Gypsy has 72... and they're all poisonous.
- If you ask Mad Gypsy what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he
donkey punches you in the face.
- Mad Gypsy drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
- When Mad Gypsy sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Mad Gypsy has not had to pay taxes, ever.
- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Mad Gypsy' fist.
- Mad Gypsy invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
- Mad Gypsy can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Mad Gypsy allows to live.
- Mad Gypsy once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
- What was going through the minds of all of Mad Gypsy' victims
before they died? His
fist.
- Mad Gypsy is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- Police label anyone attacking Mad Gypsy as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't churn butter. He donkey punches the cows and the butter comes straight out.
- Mad Gypsy doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
- A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to
Mad Gypsy and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
- Mad Gypsy will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
- Someone once videotaped Mad Gypsy getting pissed off. It was called
Gypsy:Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
- If you spell Mad Gypsy in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
- Mad Gypsy originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a
donkey punch. When asked bout this "glitch," Gypsy replied, "That's no glitch."
- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Mad Gypsy once and he will fuck you up.
- The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball
Mad Gypsy played in second grade.
- Mad Gypsy once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
- Mad Gypsy once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked
Mad Gypsy re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
- Mad Gypsy has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
- Someone once tried to tell Mad Gypsy that donkey punches aren't the best way to
punch someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Gyptatorship.
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Mad Gypsy once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
- Mad Gypsy is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Mad Gypsy.
- Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of
Mad Gypsy's warm-up exercises.
- Mad Gypsy is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will
donkey punch you in the face.
- In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Mad Gypsy turned that wine into beer.
- Mad Gypsy can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Fuck was That?"
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Mad Gypsy.
- Mad Gypsy discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which
Mad Gypsy is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public,
Mad Gypsy donkey punched him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
- The Mad Gypsy military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single
Mad Gypsy could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Mad Gypsy could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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The Mad Gypsy Facts T-shirt.
Guns don't kill people.
Mad Gypsy kills People.
The Mad Gypsy
Quotes T-shirt.
Mad Gypsy says "If I Squinky the Pope,
does that make
my dick a Holy Relic?"
What Would Mad Gypsy Do?.
Viva La Mad Gypsy!
Vote Mad Gypsy 2008
Vote Mad Gypsy 2008
Friends
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