- A high tide means Mad Gypsy is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
- Mad Gypsy keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one
donkey punch to the face.
- There is was once an “I” in Gypsy, but the "I" was donkey punched and became
the letter "y".
- Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Mad Gypsy can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
- There is no anagram for Bukkake Dojo. Do not try to form perfection into
something else.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bed frames, and sidewalks.
- Using his trademark donkey punch, Mad Gypsy once made a field goal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego.
- Mad Gypsy donkey punches don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
- Mad Gypsy does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
- Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Mad Gypsy because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Mad Gypsy' autobiography.
- Mad Gypsy can slam a revolving door.
- Mad Gypsy is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Mad Gypsy does not swim. This is because when Mad Gypsy enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Mad Gypsy simply walks across the pool floor.
- Mad Gypsy built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
- The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Mad Gypsy instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as
Gypsy donkey punched Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
- Hellen Keller's favorite color is Mad Gypsy.
- Mad Gypsy eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
- If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Mad Gypsy would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
- Mad Gypsy is currently suing myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- The crossing lights in Mad Gypsy's home town say "Die slowly" and "die quickly". They each have a picture of Mad Gypsy punching or kicking a pedestrian.
- Science Fact: donkey punches are comprised primarily of an element called
Gyptanium.
- The Sherman tank was originally called the Gypsy tank until Mad Gypsy decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Mad Gypsy, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Mad Gypsy.
- Mad Gypsy proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
- Superman once watched an episode of Bukkake Dojo. He then cried himself to sleep.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't step on toes. Mad Gypsy steps on necks.
- The movie "Gypsy Force" was extremely hard to make because Gypsy had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
- Mad Gypsy does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
- There is no such thing as global warming. Mad Gypsy was cold, so he turned the sun up.
- A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1:Mad Gypsy
2:Heart Disease
3:Cancer
- It's widely believed that Jesus was Mad Gypsy' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Mad Gypsy' skin.
- Mad Gypsy did in fact, build Rome in a day.
- Along with his black belt, Mad Gypsy often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
- Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Mad Gypsy to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Mad Gypsy had won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.
- Once you go Gypsy, you are physically unable to go back.
- Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Mad Gypsy. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Mad Gypsy.
- Mad Gypsy once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
- The last thing you hear before Mad Gypsy gives you a donkey punch? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
- As a teen, Mad Gypsy had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
- When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Mad Gypsy". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
- Every time Mad Gypsy smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he’s
donkey punching someone in the face. Then two people die.
- Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Mad Gypsy asks for a body bag.
- There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Mad Gypsy.... Just kidding, Mad Gypsy is first.
- A man once asked Mad Gypsy if his real name is "Mad". Mad Gypsy did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
- Mad Gypsy starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. HE injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.
- In a tagteam match, Mad Gypsy was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
- Mad Gypsy is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he
donkey punches into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
- Mad Gypsy likes cherry chewing gum. He spits the used-up red wads to Jupiter, where they've been accumulating.
- For undercover police work, Mad Gypsy pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
- In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Mad Gypsy is the stuntman for every character.
- We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Mad Gypsy.
- It is said that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Every time God masturbates, Mad Gypsy kills a lion.
- Mad Gypsy is the only person in the world that can actually email a
donkey punch.
- Mad Gypsy won super bowls VII and VIII single-handedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
- Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching
Mad, Hidden Gypsy"
- Mad Gypsy can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- Some kids play Kick the can. Mad Gypsy played Kick the keg.
- 'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Mad Gypsy. After a workout, Mad Gypsy rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
- Mad Gypsy cannot love, he can only not kill.
- When Mad Gypsy was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.
- According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Mad Gypsy can actually donkey
punch you yesterday.
- Mad Gypsy once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
- In an act of great philanthropy, Gypsy made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
- Mad Gypsy’ favorite cut of meat is the whole cow.
- When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Mad Gypsy
Halloween costume he was wearing.
- Mad Gypsy recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
- In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Mad Gypsy. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
- Mad Gypsy invented a language that incorporates karate and donkey punches. So next time Mad Gypsy is kicking your ass, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
- Mr. T pities the fool. Mad Gypsy rips the fool's fucking head off.
- Mad Gypsy has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his
donkey punches are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."
- Mad Gypsy has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.
- They were going to release a Mad Gypsy edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Mad Gypsy. In The Library. With a
donkey punch."
- Mad Gypsy is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
- A man once taunted Mad Gypsy with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Mad Gypsy proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
- Mad Gypsy' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Marbles 'N' Gravel.
- Who let the dogs out? Mad Gypsy let the dogs out... and then donkey punched them through an Oldsmobile.
- Mad Gypsy can do a donkey punch faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the
light bulb turns on.
- When Mad Gypsy goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
- Mad Gypsy sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
- Mad Gypsy has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
- If Mad Gypsy wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.
- Not everyone that Mad Gypsy is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
- Mad Gypsy has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in over 50 states.
- A movie scene depicting Mad Gypsy losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect. When adjusted for inflation, the effect cost more than the Gross National Product of Paraguay.
- Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Mad Gypsy' first visit to Tokyo.
- They once made a Mad Gypsy toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
- Mad Gypsy is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.
- Before each filming of Bukkake Dojo, Mad Gypsy is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
- When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Mad Gypsy.
- Mad Gypsy kills anyone that asks, "You want fries with that" because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't ever want fries with anything. Ever.
- Mad Gypsy once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
- Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Mad Gypsy glare will liquefy your kidneys.
- Human cloning is outlawed because if Mad Gypsy were cloned, then it would be possible for a Mad Gypsy
donkey punch to meet another Mad Gypsy donkey punch. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
- Mad Gypsy once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
- In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Mad Gypsy was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
- Mad Gypsy had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
- According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Mad Gypsy created God by snapping his fingers.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
- According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Mad Gypsy walks.
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The Mad Gypsy Facts T-shirt.
Guns don't kill people.
Mad Gypsy kills People.
The Mad Gypsy
Quotes T-shirt.
Mad Gypsy says "If I Squinky the Pope,
does that make
my dick a Holy Relic?"
What Would Mad Gypsy Do?.
Viva La Mad Gypsy!
Vote Mad Gypsy 2008
Vote Mad Gypsy 2008
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