- Mad Gypsy does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
- Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the
Gypsy gave them a
donkey punch to the face.
- When Mad Gypsy goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
- There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Mad Gypsy has breathed on.
- Mad Gypsy once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Mad Gypsy won by 5.
- Mad Gypsy was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to
Gypsy's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious
donkey punch related injuries.
- Mad Gypsy sheds his skin twice a year.
- When Mad Gypsy calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
- Mad Gypsy once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
- Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Mad Gypsy likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
- There are no races, only countries of people Mad Gypsy has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
- When Mad Gypsy was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he
donkey punched the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
- Mad Gypsy can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
- A Mad Gypsy-delivered donkey punch is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
- When Mad Gypsy falls in water, Mad Gypsy doesn't get wet. Water gets Mad Gypsy.
- Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1MGDP (Mad Gypsy
donkey punch)
- Mad Gypsy’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- When Mad Gypsy has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck was Mad Gypsy? ...All of it.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
- In honor of Mad Gypsy, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Gyposized".
- Mad Gypsy CAN believe it's not butter.
- If tapped, a Mad Gypsy donkey punch could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
- Mad Gypsy can divide by zero.
- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Mad Gypsy has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
- A picture is worth a thousand words. A Mad Gypsy is worth 1 billion words.
- Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Mad Gypsy
donkey punch.
- Mad Gypsy invented his own type of karate. It's called Gypsy-Will-Kill.
- When an episode of Bukkake Dojo was aired in France, the French surrendered to Mad Gypsy just to be on the safe side.
- While urinating, Mad Gypsy is easily capable of welding titanium.
- Mad Gypsy once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
- When Mad Gypsy talks, everybody listens. And dies.
- When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Mad Gypsy kills a ninja, he uses every part.
- Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Mad Gypsy calls this "a slow Tuesday."
- Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Mad Gypsy to go around.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't shave; he punches himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Mad Gypsy is Mad Gypsy.
- For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Mad Gypsy, each testicle is larger than the other one.
- Mad Gypsy always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- When taking the SAT, write "Mad Gypsy" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
- Mad Gypsy invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- When you're Mad Gypsy, anything + anything is equal to 1. One donkey punch to the face.
- Mad Gypsy has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
- On his birthday, Mad Gypsy randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Mad Gypsy.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Mad Gypsy throws down!
- In the beginning there was nothing...then Mad Gypsy donkey punched that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
- Mad Gypsy has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
- Mad Gypsy grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
- Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Mad Gypsy"
- Mad Gypsy ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- Mad Gypsy and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
- If you Google search "Mad Gypsy getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
- Mad Gypsy can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
- Little known medical fact: Mad Gypsy invented the Caesarean section when he
donkey punched his way out of his mother's womb.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
- The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Mad Gypsy. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
- It takes Mad Gypsy 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
- You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Mad Gypsy will find you and kill you.
- Mad Gypsy has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Mad Gypsy donkey
punched one of the corners off.
- There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Mad Gypsy lives in Oklahoma.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't believe in Germany.
- When Mad Gypsy is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
- Mad Gypsy once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
- James Cameron wanted Mad Gypsy to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Mad Gypsy can touch MC Hammer.
- Thousands of years ago Mad Gypsy came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its
descendents now have white hair.
- Mad Gypsy played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- It takes 14 puppeteers to make Mad Gypsy smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
- Mad Gypsy is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Mad Gypsy pajamas.
- Mad Gypsy once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
- Simply by pulling on both ends, Mad Gypsy can stretch diamonds back into coal.
- When Mad Gypsy does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
- Mad Gypsy invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
- When Mad Gypsy plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather,
donkey punches to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
- Mad Gypsy is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- When God said, "let there be light", Mad Gypsy said, "say 'please'."
- Mad Gypsy does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Mad Gypsy' fists is inside his own body.
- One day Mad Gypsy walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
- Mad Gypsy built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
- Mad Gypsy doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Mad Gypsy uses a night light. Not because Mad Gypsy is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mad Gypsy.
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The Mad Gypsy Facts T-shirt.
Guns don't kill people.
Mad Gypsy kills People.
The Mad Gypsy
Quotes T-shirt.
Mad Gypsy says "If I Squinky the Pope,
does that make
my dick a Holy Relic?"
What Would Mad Gypsy Do?.
Viva La Mad Gypsy!
Vote Mad Gypsy 2008
Vote Mad Gypsy 2008
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